WHEN THE START WASN’T WHAT YOU IMAGINED

Therapy for birth trauma and NICU parents in St. Paul, MN

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Healing support for parents navigating birth trauma, NICU experiences, and postpartum stress.

Your birth experience or time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)was nothing like you imagined. When the day your baby is born is also the day everything falls apart. Birth was supposed to be hard, maybe....but not like that. And now, weeks or months later, you're still struggling with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or feeling disconnected from your baby. You thought you'd be over it by now, but you're not, and that's okay.

Weeks or even months later, the anxiety hasn’t gone away.

You might still be replaying moments in your mind.

Still holding your breath every time your baby cries.

Still feeling guilt, fear, or a disconnection you can’t quite name.

You thought this would get easier by now.

You’re not alone, and it makes sense you’re still struggling.

This Wasn't Supposed to Be Your Story

You spent months or even years imagining how your birth would go. Maybe you had a birth plan, took the classes, did all the things you were supposed to do. And then everything went wrong. 

Maybe your birth included:

  • An emergency C-section that happened so fast you couldn't process it

  • Hemorrhaging or other complications that made you fear for your life

  • Medical providers who dismissed your concerns or made you feel invisible

  • Interventions you didn't want or weren't prepared for

  • That terrifying moment when you thought your baby might not make it

Or maybe your baby went to the NICU, and suddenly:

  • You were supposed to be bringing your baby home, but instead you were learning medical terminology you never knew existed

  • You had to leave the hospital without your child

  • Every beep and alarm sent your nervous system into panic mode

  • Trying to sleep while replaying every 'what if', every worst-case scenario, every decision and question

  • You couldn't hold, feed, or comfort your baby the way you desperately wanted to and you are asking strangers permission to hold your baby

And now? Now everyone expects you to just be grateful that you and your baby survived. They don't understand why you're still struggling. Sometimes you don't understand it either.

Maybe it all happened so fast, you barely had time to process what was going on.

Maybe you felt helpless watching your baby hooked up to machines.

Or maybe you left the hospital with everyone saying “you should be grateful,” while inside you were still grieving what you missed.

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Here's the Thing: Your Brain Is Still in Crisis Mode

You might think you should be able to logic your way through this. You're smart, self-aware, and competent, you've always been the person who solves problems and helps everyone else. But no matter how many articles you read or how much you tell yourself "we're safe now," you still feel:

Anxious: 

  • Constantly checking if your baby is breathing, even when they're sleeping peacefully

  • Your heart racing every time your baby coughs or shows any sign of being sick

  • Unable to relax or trust that things will be okay

  • Like you're always bracing for the next terrible thing to happen

Disconnected and numb:

  • Going through the motions of motherhood but not really feeling present

  • Struggling to bond with your baby the way you think you should

  • Questioning if you're even cut out for this

  • Feeling like you're watching your life happen from the outside

Haunted by what happened:

  • Memories that hit you out of nowhere

  • Nightmares about your birth or the NICU

  • You get upset or emotional from reminders: hospitals, medical settings, or even certain smells

  • Unable to shake the images of your baby in distress

Carrying guilt and grief you can't shake:

  • Blaming yourself for what happened, even though maybe logically you know it wasn't your fault

  • Grieving the birth experience and those first moments you'll never get back

  • Feeling ashamed that you're not just "over it" already

  • Angry at your body for not being able to do what you thought it was supposed to

Here's what I need you to understand: This isn't happening because you're weak or dwelling on the past. This is what unprocessed trauma does to your nervous system.

Trauma doesn't live in the logical, thinking part of your brain. It lives in your body, in your nervous system. That's why you can't just think your way out of it, no matter how insightful or self-aware you are.

How We Actually Address Trauma

Here’s the thing: we could meet every week and talk about your feelings. And yes, talking matters. Making sense of what happened during your birth or NICU experience matters.

But if you’re honest, you’ve already spent a lot of time thinking about it, talking it through in your head, maybe even with friends or past providers…and you’re still stuck.

Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because birth trauma heals by working directly with your brain and nervous system, not just your thoughts.

EMDR: Helping Your Brain Finally Process What Happened

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is specifically designed to treat trauma. It works with how your brain naturally processes memories, except during trauma, that natural process gets interrupted.

Here's the deal: EMDR doesn't require you to talk through every horrifying detail or relive the trauma. Instead, we use bilateral stimulation (stimulating the left and right sides of your brain through eye movements or tapping) while you briefly focus on the traumatic memory. This helps your brain reprocess it so it becomes something that happened to you in the past, rather than something that feels like it's still happening.

I won't lie. It can feel a little weird at first. But most women find that after EMDR, the intrusive thoughts decrease, the anxiety eases, and they can actually think about their birth or NICU experience without being completely overwhelmed.

EMDR typically doesn't involve homework, though there may be times I suggest something that could support your healing between sessions.

Internal Family Systems: Working With All Parts of You

Sometimes you've got different parts of yourself that are basically fightingwith each other. One part is pissed off about how you were treated. Another part feels crushing guilt. Yet another part just wants to move on already.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps you understand that these aren't conflicting problems. They're different parts of you trying to protect you in their own way, even when their strategies aren't working anymore.

Through IFS, we help these parts work together instead of against each other. This is especially powerful for dealing with guilt, shame, and self-blame, because we can help those protective parts realize they don't have to keep punishing you to keep you safe.

Rebuilding Trust in Your Body

Birth trauma often destroys your trust in your body. You might feel betrayed, like your body failed you or let you down when you needed it most.

Part of our work involves reconnecting with your body and helping you understand that your body didn’t do anything wrong. It survived something incredibly difficult. And it's been trying to protect you ever since, even when that protection shows up as anxiety or hypervigilance.

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What You Can Expect Working With Me

We Start With a Real Conversation No pressure, no sales pitch. Just a genuine conversation about what you're going through and whether we're a good fit to work together.

We Use Approaches That Actually Work I combine talking and processing with EMDR and IFS therapy to address what's happening in your brain and nervous system, not just your thoughts.

We Focus on Sustainable Change We're not slapping a band-aid on symptoms. We're uncovering what's going on underneath so you can make real, lasting changes in your life.

You Get Flexibility I offer both online sessions throughout Minnesota and in-person sessions in St Paul. You can schedule online and use my electronic health record system to communicate between sessions. For some women, intensive therapy sessions are a great fit for deeper work in a concentrated timeframe.

I'm Jennie, and I specialize in helping women in St Paul and throughout Minnesota heal from birth trauma and NICU complications through EMDR therapy, Internal Family Systems, and intensive sessions. Whether you meet with me online or in-person in St Paul, we'll work together to help you process what happened so you can move beyond survival mode and actually experience joy in motherhood.

Here's What Healing Can Actually Look Like

I'm not going to promise you'll forget what happened or that everything will be perfect. But here's what becomes possible when you process birth trauma:

  • The constant anxiety starts to ease. You can breathe again

  • Intrusive thoughts become less frequent and less intense

  • You actually feel connected to your baby instead of just going through the motions

  • You experience moments of genuine joy in motherhood, not just exhaustion and worry

  • You trust yourself as a mother instead of second-guessing everything

  • You can think about your birth without feeling like you're drowning

  • You feel like yourself again, not who you were before, but an integrated version of who you are now

You don't have to choose between being grateful your baby is here and grieving what you lost. Both can be true. Both deserve space.

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  • Honestly? It depends. Every woman's experience is different, and healing doesn't happen on a rigid timeline. Some women find significant relief after a few EMDR sessions, while others need more time. We'll work at a pace that feels right for you, and I won't rush you through your healing just to check boxes.

  • Nope. While we'll definitely talk about your experience, EMDR doesn't require you to recount every traumatic moment in vivid detail. We can work with what you're comfortable sharing.

  • If you're still struggling with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, disconnection, or any of the symptoms we've talked about—your experience counts. Trauma is defined by how you experienced it, not by what happened objectively or whether others think it was "bad enough."

  • Absolutely. Many of my clients are navigating therapy while managing the demands of caring for an infant. We'll work with your schedule and needs. Online sessions can be especially helpful for new moms.

  • If your previous therapy was primarily talk therapy without specialized trauma treatment, then yes, EMDR and IFS offer something different. These approaches work directly with how trauma is stored in your brain and nervous system.

  • Both! I offer in-person sessions in St Paul and online sessions throughout Minnesota. You can choose what works best for your situation.

Frequently Asked Questions

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You Don't Have to Keep White-Knuckling Through This

I know you're probably used to handling everything yourself. You're competent, capable, and you've survived this far on your own. But here's the thing: you don't have to keep doing this alone.

The intrusive thoughts can ease. The constant anxiety can lift. You can feel connected to your baby and actually experience joy in motherhood instead of just surviving each day. You can heal from what happened without forgetting or minimizing it.

I work with women who are tired of struggling and ready to actually address what's going on underneath all the symptoms.

If you're in St Paul or anywhere in Minnesota and you're ready to stop surviving and start healing, reach out. We'll start with a conversation, no pressure, just support and understanding about what you're going through.

Contact me to learn more about scheduling, my practice, and how we can work together. You've already survived the hardest part. Now let's help you thrive.

Your experience matters. Your feelings are valid. And you deserve to feel better.